Why am I developing this app called the OKButton?

Why am I developing this app called the OKButton? From 2018 to 2019, I became completely overwhelmed with life, work, relationships, friendships, depression and anxiety.

From the outside, I looked fine. From the inside, I was in terrible pain. Only a few knew that, and one who worried about me the most was my mum. I worry about her too.

But continuously answering the question “are you OK?” with the followups of “are you sure?” was exhausting. I was OK, but I certainly wasn’t sure.

We have a history of suicide in our family, and I knew she wanted to keep constant contact with me to make sure, well, simply, that I was still here. On Earth. But continuously answering the question “are you OK?” with the followups of “are you sure?” was exhausting. I was OK, but I certainly wasn’t sure. But right then and there I lacked the mental capacity to explain – as how could I explain something even I wasn’t sure about? What was wrong? Why wasn’t I sure? If I couldn’t answer these questions effectively to myself, then what hope did I have explaining it.

But, I was working on my mental health. We’re spinning on a little here from the background story; I was getting better than OK.

All I wanted was for my friends and my mum, my loved one, to know I was OK today – in the morning and night too. I didn’t want to talk; I wanted to work on it. I didn’t want to dwell; I needed to make progress. It’s hard to keep someone at arm’s length, especially when they care so much, but I needed to do so for my wellbeing and for my mums’ too – so she didn’t carry my weight also.

So this is why I am developing the OKButton app. With my own time and money. So that my mum can know I am OK.